a new start

Tough to settle this morning.

I think what’s going on is my beginning of the work week “To Do’s” list is banging on my head, demanding attention and interrupting my focus. It’s the end of a long weekend, and now I have time limits on everything I do, my breakfast preparations, my exercises, getting dressed, and most importantly, my creative moments. I look at the patch of clear morning sunshine sliding across the wall and while I enjoy how pretty it is, I’m panicking that it’s moving so obviously quickly. And yet, during the weekend, when I could afford to just sit and watch the sunlight, I busied myself in other ways. There’s a constant tension between wanting to cram too many activities into too short a space, and just being, observing, breathing. I woke up with the sunshine, hearing the birds and thinking wow, what a beautiful morning, and too quickly slid into a mantra of “quick, I’m late for…” It gets so tedious.

So this morning, I’m going to try to ignore, say, half of my “To Do’s”, and try doing the other half while maintaining my awareness of how gorgeous this morning is.

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